Stay(some free writing,had alot of built up anger)

So confused and can't seem to find my way.
Hoping to figure this out one of these days.
Constant back and fourths yet I stay.
Why must I always agree to disagree,when I don't agree in the first place.
I seem to put my all when you don't do the same
It just proves once again that you have to have your guard up at all times.
You mean the world to me when I express that another selfish comment comes out of your mouth
I say I love you yet I'm to vulnerable and another selfish comment released through your lips once again.
Without doing whats right for myself I stay.
I was always told never to be selfish,always give,If someone's rude,never be rude to them because in the end You would be granted with many blessings.That emotion builds up after a while and makes me sad because when the rude is getting there way.I get no where
But still I STAY!!!!!
From this day forward I can't stay in the same place.I have been granted some blessings that are telling me to go out there and make something better.To make myself happy.
I haven't been very happy in a long time.
Everything for the past two years have been so bittersweet I don't know what smiling is anymore.
I try to block out negative vibes because I know I'm better than that yet I still stay.
With all of my words lying here.I will learn these harsh lessons,move forward, create a better life,still do good for others.YET! I will stay.